To Risk or not to Risk

First of all, no, this is not a post about the ridiculously long board game. In fact, it's not much of a post at all I'm just going to put up a quote.

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk involvement
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self
To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd, is to risk their loss
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To live is to risk dying
To hope is to risk despair
But risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing
They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, or live.
Only a person who risks is free.
~Leo Buscaglia

Look and See How Clever I am

I've been doing this whole blogging bit for close to a year now and I think it's time I get back to my roots. When I started the blog, I admitted it was more than anything a way to see if I could impress people in a literary fashion. I'd like to think that I've had a decent post or two (bear in mind I said I'd like to think). In any event, yesterday was a reminder to me of the less than noble goal that started me writing.

I was visiting my parents and talking about Lincoln, the Civil War, and well cookies. My dad has this theory that a cookie only has half the calories when it is broken in half. Never mind the fact that he still eats both halves. He defended himself by saying that there was a method to his madness. I responded, "Just because there's method to your madness doesn't mean it's something other than madness." I was quite pleased with myself; I still am.

Something like this doesn't just happen though, no this took years of preparation. I remember that fateful day, so many years ago, that my brother told me, in reference to some less than cordial individuals, "It's all about mind over matter. I don't mind because they don't matter." Ahh, so good. I still smile every time I think about it. Some time later I was on my way to seminary when I noticed one of the school signs had been graffitied. Added to the list of items such as: no skateboards was no dumb people with a smiley face. That made my day. One of these days, I think I'll make myself some t-shirts or hats with such witticisms. As far as I can tell, Despair.com has a commanding influence on the disaffected masses, especially the college going variety, and I want a piece of the action.

The Comfort and Luxury of Mediocrity

So I've decided something; people don't like the unknown. Sure, we may say that we like trying new things, but let's admit it's all show. When I ordered calamari for the first time I didn't imagine that it was going to taste like calamari tastes. How could I? I had never tasted it before. Instead of imagining how it actually tasted, I imagined a vague sort of good taste and dug in. What I expected, wanted to happen was to taste something I recognized as tasting good. How many times have people tasted exotic food and said "It tastes like chicken." It seems that we have a hard time processing new experiences; they never stand on their own, but have to be compared to previous experience. When I tasted calamari I liked it, but not I would argue because it has an inherently "good" taste, but rather because it has a familiar taste. In this case, I'm guessing salt and MSG tied it in with the rest of my meal.

I'm thinking that the reason people don't try new food or new things in general is fear of the unknown. Why don't I move to say Boston and try to make a life for myself there for instance? It's foreign to me, I don't know what to expect. It could be a great decision, it could ruin my life. This is where mediocrity comes into play. Mediocrity is safe. I would here propose that a great many opportunities and lives lived in greatness are kept out of reach by the safety net of mediocrity. Though I'm loath to admit it, being a victim of mediocrity myself, especially scholastically, I'm inclined to think that mediocre results often come from a lack of self-confidence.

That's the beauty of doing a half-hearted job I figure, no one can really say if you succeeded or failed. Additionally, we can tell ourselves that if we did this good when we weren't really trying that we'd do really great with something we cared about. Would we though? Mediocrity and apathy go hand in hand and if you ask me, (pretend you really would) apathy is infectious. Once introduced to one aspect of life, apathy spreads to every aspect of life. As for me, I'm going to try not to cut myself so much slack that I get dashed to pieces on the rocks below.

Something I've Been Meaning to do

My parents had this idea that they wanted all of their kids to play musical instruments. This worked just fine right up until me. Why was I any different? They never encouraged/forced me to learn one. I never wanted to learn one, having been witness to many of my friends afternoons' spoiled by having to practice. Wow, that sentence sucks, but it's late and I'm not changing it. Anyway, this semester I'm taking a guitar class and I've enjoyed it thus far. I'm hoping that learning a musical instrument is good for my patience and self-discipline. A coworker pointed out that "chicks dig it." I was with some friends the other day and one of the guys started playing a guitar, yeah it's true.

My fingertips are sore, but then again so are my arms since I started a weights class as well. I've also started playing some tennis, which is good, just not as good as racquetball. Natural sunlight, who needs it? I guess in short I'm trying out a few new things. One of them is bound to be worth something in the end. I also just finished reading Shadow of the Giant. I quite enjoyed it. There are a lot of good questions and ideas about human nature in the book. I'm thinking I may start reading some more poetry, get acquainted with some of the classics. Trying new things, yeah I'm enjoying it.

What Can Change the Human Heart?

First and foremost, credit where credit is due, the impetus for this post is something from what my friend Frogkisser wrote in her last post. The question posed is: can someone's nature be changed or is it fixed. The gospel perspective here is a decided that depends. Do they want to change? Do I want to compromise for them?

It's a great paradox of human nature that some of the best most sincere change as well as some of the most superficial and shallow change in human nature can come from relationships. I think the thing I wonder is: how long can we or someone else be happy living contrary to who they are? My guess is not very long. Do we really want someone to love a cheap facade we put up for them, all plastic flowers and fake dialogue? At this point, I've just realized I never have any original or new thoughts just new angles on old issues. It all comes back to honesty and being yourself again. I think my pontificating train is still derailed. I'll keep at it.