Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Reflections on Failure

Okay, as a disclaimer my failure wasn't really spectacular in the sense of being a spectacle so much as being spectacular in it's ramifications. Having finally decided recently what my major is going to be, oh yeah again, (English Language in case you were wondering) I also decided to major in Sociology. I would explain how I took my time in deciding on the double major since I took so much time to decide on English Language for my first major, but I didn't really take any real thought with the second one. I realized that I would have a lot of time in my schedule since I only had eight religion credits and one and a half credits of wellness to finish for my core requirements. Since I like Sociology and had the room I thought I might as well.

The unforeseen complication was that to major in Sociology I enrolled in Stats 221 and Soc 300 (Methods in Social Research). I loathe these classes. I took the first test in my Soc 300 test two weeks ago and just found out today how I did. I failed and failed badly. My teacher allows people to correct errors on this test for 60% of the credit. Sadly, If I got the extra 60% of each question I missed I would only get a 60% on the test itself. I've never done so incredibly badly before. Even before getting the grade on the test I was thinking about dropping the class. I say drop the class, but this late into the semester I mean stop going to the class and fail rather than go to class and fail.

More than anything this just reinforces to me the importance of basing my personal happiness on the truth of the gospel. School seems to be a losing battle at the moment and other fronts aren't doing too good either, but the gospel is true. I know intellectually that things will get better, but right now it doesn't feel much like it. In an effort to be healthy I've decided that I need to be okay with sad. I'm not sure why I'm posting this. I pretty sure that I repressed my emotions for so long that now that I've learned how to share my thoughts I have a lot of making up to do. It's said that life is bittersweet. I believe it.

2 comments:

Brett said...

And, sadly enough, the bitter usually comes before the sweet. I've been down that same road (actually, still am...). All I know is así es la vida. On a better note, I'm guessing your internet is working again?

Something McSomethingkins said...

Okay, so here is why I think you don't get as many comments as someone else we know Aaron. You post these amazingly thoughtful and insightful posts on subjects, then we are all intimidated and don't want to write anything if it's not as thoughtful and insightful as your post. There we don't have to make sense. What can I say...you're deep.

Hang in there with school. If it makes you feel better, my boat is similar to yours, and you're too smart to fail past the point of fixing it. My O Chem story could put tears in your eyes, so fortunately it's not past that point either.