Uncharacteristically Hopeful

I've thought for some time about doing some serious writing, but I've had some real doubts. There has always seemed to me something mysterious about books, or rather authors. So much of what I've read is brilliant. Reading those books, so well written that it seems effortless has perhaps elevated the nature of an author in my mind. I've had this misguided little image of someone sitting down to write and spinning literary gold at will. I've heard plenty of things said to the contrary, but none of that has really sunken in. Maybe it's one of those childish dreams or ideas that have been with you so long you want it stay true. It occurs to me that sounds an awful lot like some allusion to a personal apostasy, but it isn't.

I think what finally disillusioned me was the last story I wrote for my creative writing class. It couldn't be more than 750 words, about a page and a half. I spent somewhere between seven and eight hours on it. I guess in actuality I spent two or three hours of that on a different story and decided I didn't like it. Regardless I spent several hours awkwardly attempting to form a coherent little story. As my deadline approached I was panicked. I made a major change in storyline all of twenty minutes before it needed to be turned in. I hastily applied my changes and turned it in with a lingering sense of disquiet.

I debated going to class the next week because I was sure I'd get my paper back with a C or D, a frowny (frownie, it's not really a word) face and comments to match. I went anyway. Part way through class, my teacher talked about how we did on the paper as a class and complimented me with how I introduced details in my story. I was taken aback honestly. He doesn't give out much praise, maybe one compliment per class, which means weekly. I ended up getting a 54/60 on it, the highest grade in the class. When I got my paper back several spots had been marked with "you lost me here." So I didn't exactly nail the thing, but I did at least do something right. All in all I'm feeling a lot more confident that with some work I can manage this writing thing.