Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies

The title for this post comes from a bit by Demetri Martin. Rachel introduced me to his comedy and I'm impressed. His "If I" videos on YouTube are really funny, but actually philosophical. It's just the sort of arrogant self-aggrandizement/self-deprecation that I'd like to think I'd indulge in if I ever became a comedian, which of course I won't.

He had his career planned out at elven. He was going to become a lawyer. He went to two years of law school and decided it wasn't the right thing for him. It made me think about my own job. I had brief thoughts about staying at Independent Study after graduation. I'd continue working on high school courses, but ideally I'd make more money (that is part of the idea behind college and all). But the more I think about it, the less sure I am. One of the biggest motivators for me is seeing the results of work I've done. I started at Independent Study just over a year ago and have yet to see the first course I worked on put into production. It's the sort of thing that makes me wonder if it ever will. The quality control process is the culprit as far as I know, which only makes me want to arrange a transfer to that department to see what the holdup is.

My first choice for a job used to be editing sci-fi books. However, this is the most sought after job in my industry so the chances of getting that range from unlikely to impossible. The sad thing is, I don't even know if I'd want that job right now, not that anyone's offering it to me.

I'm guessing a healthy dose of my general bleah feeling is that I've heard new news about the transplant. They've scheduled another evaluation for the 6th of August. I know it's terrible, but I'm sick of it. They need to take care of it already. I'm most likely not going to go to school fall semester. I have a hard enough time forcing myself to do homework when I haven't had a major organ removed so I'm not going to push my luck. This means graduation will be pushed back for me, again. I might be able to still be done by April, but I'd need to take classes via Independent Study and that hasn't worked out in the past.

This whole transplant deal has been the glitter or herpes of the last two years for me. It just keeps popping up out of nowhere attracting my attention and bothering me only to fade away again for another few months. I realize I'm being terribly selfish in my thinking about this. Obviously this whole process has been far worse for Angie, Joe and any number of other people, but regardless it still sucks. I think this might actually be the last time; it might actually happen. I hope it does soon because it's a crappy little storm cloud that keeps moving a little ahead of me, when I'd rather just get soaked and be done with it. Normally, I'd read back through this for errors, but I'd rather not mix business with pleasure.